What I learned from my Mother

I've always looked up to her. She is extraordinary. Not only is she the most beautiful woman I've ever seen but she is someone full of wisdom that only her experiences can attest to. Most of the valuable lessons I've held on to in this life came from my mom and I want to go through each one and share it. This is not in any order.

1. You don't have to experience something to learn from it. - I always had this notion that in order for you to learn something you have to go through it yourself. But my mom proved it wrong. She said that God allows and gives people different experiences so that you can learn from other people: you can learn from their mistakes and from their successes. You don't have to fall into the same pit as someone for you to say that you've learned your lesson. Learn through others.

2. Honor your father and your mother. - This is my favorite commandment because this was deeply instilled in me (and my brothers). My mom stressed that this commandment doesn't have any conditions. God didn't say "Honor your father and your mother IF..." He just said, "Honor your father and your mother." No ifs or buts. And after God said, not to praise any other God besides Him, He immediately put parents on the next category, which to me appears pretty important.

3. Let men do the chasing. - Yeah, my mom said, "Ang pinaghihirapan, hindi basta-basta pinapakawalan." My mom still swears by this rather than the modern woman approach, which will lead to a badly bruised ego (if turned down) and lingering thoughts of regrets. This is all about holding your ground and it is actually very sensible.

4. Look for someone who treats his parents well. He will do the same to you. - More than looks, see if a guy is polite to his parents, if he is gentle to his siblings, even to their family pet. That says something about how he treats others.

5. Ubos-ubos biyaya 'pag wala nakatunganga - This applies to everything: food, clothes, money. In short, save for the rainy days.

6. You are defined by your values. - How you were brought up, what values were instilled in you, how you act and react in situations---it all says something about your upbringing. Your values and morals are what separate you from others; it's what makes you stand out. She always, always said to respect others. Respect your elders. Respect others' time. Respect their beliefs and opinions. Respect yourself so that others will respect you.

7. Trust is never given. It is earned. - I have let my mom down so many times. And each time, it was so hard getting her to trust me again. So I've learned by experience that trust, if broken, will never be the same again.

8. Education will take you places. - That's why she said, "Finish it!" We aren't rich but she made sure we were sent to prestigious schools and she always pushed us to finish College. She believed in what a good education can do to oneself, ones career and ones future. "Yan lang ang maipapamana namin na hindi makukuha sa inyo ng kahit sino."

9. Be kind to others. You have no idea what their journey is. - Pretty self explanatory.

10. Groom yourself well. How you look is your market value. - The hard truth. People will judge you by how you look so she always made sure we are dressed appropriately and neatly. She didn't want any of us leaving the house with mismatched socks or anything with a tiny hole or missing button or crumpled clothes. She made sure we wore our Sunday's best to Church and we have a splash of cologne on.

11. Don't wash your dirty linens in public. - Keep the mystery. Don't tell the world everything about yourself, your family, your problems, your faults and the list goes on. You owe yourself some privacy and a lot of respect.

12. You don't have to be religious. Be spiritual. - "Believe in God and know that He is the one who created you and that you will return to Him one day. Know that He provided you with everything and thank Him in return. He has a plan for you and He will never forsake you. Talk to him, like how you would do to a friend. He will listen to you and grant your prayers. Miracles always happen. "