Ang Pagkamatay ng Tropang Cinco

Somehow, I felt a part of me died.

We were never officially tropang cinco 'til the later years in college. And we never really had to name the group. We just loved hanging out. We were together during long breaks when we always procrastinated about studying, while sneaking out and cutting classes, and during lunches at Dapitan sharing overflowing saucers of gravy and pieces of yema. Those times when we stayed at Lea's apartment 'til late or asked Sonny for one more bottle of Coke 1.5 were really sticking in my head as good, fun college memories. And yes, our friendships deepened. For years, I actually believed that we were inseparable. Well, because for sometime, we actually are. We laughed so hard at each others' jokes 'til our stomachs hurt. We covered up for each other for reasons known only to us. We stood by each other through eyeballs, flings, new boyfriends and girlfriends and breakups. We walked with each other hand in hand along conscious lane, lover's lane, engineering pav, walkway and Beato pav to people-gaze, which we all enjoy doing. Just the mere sight of each other and the little jokes and punchlines we throw at each other makes our day complete. We were just 5 simple people who happen to love the same things and respect each others' differences. And it was a wonderful thing! Cause even when I left the country, I still felt a strong connection that binds all of us together. Like there's a link that always said I belonged to a group, the kind that stuck together 'through thick and thin'. Or so I thought.

And yet, those 8 years we have caught and gotten each others' backs just seem to disappear all of a sudden. Slowly, things were fading. In a blink of an eye, everything's changed and suddenly someone seems like a stranger to me. Someone I used to share secrets with is now someone who can't even bother to introduce her boyfriend to me. And man, it hurt like hell! It hurt to know that you aren't important enough to know someone who's in her life, that you are bypassed, that you don't deserve to know what's happening anymore and that someone already replaced you.

It feels different: very odd. And very painful.
My homebase is not such anymore. And before I even begin to go into denial or have some unrealistic expectations of how our story twisted, I am telling myself to just accept and let it go. People change. And damn right, they change A LOT!