My heart's day was full of reds and sweets just like how it should be. 6 Valentine's days ago, we broke up. Yes, on that day when you're supposed to celebrate the gift of love, we decided to end it. So February 14 will always be that day when I suddenly became aware that "Love" really needs to be celebrated. So even during those Valentine's days when I didn't have a special someone to celebrate it with, my family would go out to dinner and be each others' dates. :) For the last 4 Valentine's days, however, he has been trying to undo the ugly memory of that 2nd Valentine's day we spent together (or apart?). But with red roses and white tulips, chocolates, a card and a cake, Valentine's on February 2004 is a faint memory now. After all, love is found in one of the hardest things to do: forgiving someone.
that greeted me when i entered our flat
On our 90th month (yes, we are that long together!), we went to TopGear Live show and had some serious thought about getting a European car in the next 5 years or so.hehehe The parade of high-end vehicles and luxury cars made both of us (including me who is not really a car aficionado) drool and wish we had like $100,000 or more in our bank accounts and go home with a new M3. It was a fun experience being a part of the whole event seeing sportscars everywhere as if its the only vehicle there is on earth. :)
I finalized my plans for this April. I am going home. :) And I can't wait! I purchased my ticket and secured my A/L dates so I am all set to go. Only, there are huge events to take place when I get home that needs lots of planning, coordinating and yes, spending...That last bit, I can't run away from. hehehe Going back, there's my Ate's wedding. She will tie the knot with her boyfriend of 10 years, I think. Good for them! And since hers is the 1st wedding in the family amongst cousins, everybody from overseas will come home to attend. (I am still pondering and slightly regretting that I am going to this wedding instead of coming home next week, just in time for my cousins' (from my father's side, who I haven't seen in 13 years) balikbayan vacation. What a shame!)
There's also the service for my Uncle who succumbed to Brain Ca last September. Since the whole family is around on April, my Ninang decided to do the service over there as for apparent reasons, not everyone can go to North Carolina on September for the babang-luksa. And lastly, there's my mom's advance 50th birthday celebration, which I think will be bigger than the wedding in the end. *naughty grin* I just said that because there's more preparations going on for the 50th birthday than for the wedding. *another naught grin* So, I am really looking forward to this trip. And as I mentioned in a previous entry, this entry means a lot to me in terms of soul-searching (My 2009 was a bit intense and draining boyfriend's-family-wise).
There's also the house-hunting which is currently ongoing. We went to view a unit yesterday which was so cosy, it's actually small. The couple who was renting it out seems fine and there's this feeling that they are genuinely good people. But we said we'd let them know at the end of the week. We are viewing 2 more units tomorrow and I found a couple more new listings online so that will probably be in for next week. It is just a bit of a challenge to find the right place for us, within our budget and the one that accommodates all our needs. Sigh. The anticipation and (good) stress of moving houses. :) Plus, a couple of weeks back, we went window shopping for couches, lounges, beds and dining sets. It was so exciting!!! We were browsing the display rooms and choosing which lounge set we want using this colour with that material. I felt like a housewife. :) hahaha It was actually a good feeling. Honestly. :)
This last week has been particularly stressful for me because I was dealing with mending friendships and letting go of really damaged ones. And yesterday, I found out I was blocked off. Reading "It doesn't look like you have been invited to read this blog."
It hurt because it was an obvious slap on my face that I was rejected. I considered it as another baggage but instead of dragging myself down, I opted to just move along pulling it right behind me. Things indeed happen for a reason. And because Kuya Jess just loves me, He gave another reason to be stronger. Tanggap lang ng tanggap. That's my mantra.
Past the hugs, kisses, love letters (we still do this but not as often anymore) and all the goody-goody, ultra positive side of love, February gave me a whole new perspective about all the other aspects of love that I often overlook: learning, accepting, giving, receiving, letting go, sharing and yes, FORGIVING. It is never, ever easy to love. Sharing what was instilled in me during my DWTL days: Love and love until it hurts. Love until it hurts no more.
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