Absence make her heart grow fonder
While I’m conquering the last frontier
Lately I’ve found myself wonderin’ out loud
Wonderin’ what I was doin’ here
One day you’ll understand how much you have me
One day you’ll realise we have it easy
I can’t offer you the future - I don’t know it myself
All I can offer you is me
I’m all I can offer you right now
Patience make her heart grow stronger
Reassure her she’s where I want to be
Never was the grass ever greener
I’m about ready as I’ll ever be
And one day you’ll understand how much you have me
One day you’ll realise we have it easy
If an expression of love is what you need to believe
All I can offer you is me
I’m all I can offer you right now
I’m all I am
All I am, yeah
One day you’ll understand how much you have me
One day you’ll realise we have it easy
I can’t offer you the future - I don’t know it myself
All I can offer you is me
One day you’ll understand how much you have me
One day you’ll realise we have it easy
If an expression of love is what you need to believe
All I can offer you is me
I’m all I can offer you right now
Absence make her heart grow fonder
While I’m conquering the last frontier
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
How to be Sorry 101
You won't believe how sincerely sorry I am for having blurted out what I did last night. It was wrong, inapprpriate and above all, offensive. Not in an anhedonic kind of way but in the most personal way I could possibly hurt you. And I am truly sorry!
I am, quite frankly, embarassed for how I acted and reacted. I have no excuses to give as the more I keep ranting on about how wrong it is, the more it appears fake. And that's really sad because I am honestly weakened by my lack of insight, trust and confidence in you. It's disgusting! i hate myself for that and more importantly, I really hated the part that I made you feel (or not) unworthy. As if I can't see you efforts and your tireless striving to show me how much you want to undo the past. The thing is, the past is past and there's nothing that can be done to change it. But I want to let you know that I DO appreciate how much you're trying, how much you've changed and how much yoou've proven to me time and again how much you DO love me.
I don't want to blame hormones (though, really think it plays a role), sappy movies or anybody elese. It's me. And no matter how tough I seem to be about forgiving and forgetting, I know how to own up to my mistakes. So I am humbled by this experience mainly because I am the offender and I didn't mean, in my deepest desires to hurt you at all. I am sad. And pained too.
I DO love you. And on a more serious and equally significant note, I hope you do realize that my continuously believing in you and trusting you and trying to forget about the unruly past means I do care about you and that I am open to the fact that I can trust you fully. I know you can be trusted. We will get there. I know we will.
So now, want to let you know that I put all my trust in you. Regardless. That's more than I can do but I'll do it, anyway!
To infinity and beyond ;) xoxo
I am, quite frankly, embarassed for how I acted and reacted. I have no excuses to give as the more I keep ranting on about how wrong it is, the more it appears fake. And that's really sad because I am honestly weakened by my lack of insight, trust and confidence in you. It's disgusting! i hate myself for that and more importantly, I really hated the part that I made you feel (or not) unworthy. As if I can't see you efforts and your tireless striving to show me how much you want to undo the past. The thing is, the past is past and there's nothing that can be done to change it. But I want to let you know that I DO appreciate how much you're trying, how much you've changed and how much yoou've proven to me time and again how much you DO love me.
I don't want to blame hormones (though, really think it plays a role), sappy movies or anybody elese. It's me. And no matter how tough I seem to be about forgiving and forgetting, I know how to own up to my mistakes. So I am humbled by this experience mainly because I am the offender and I didn't mean, in my deepest desires to hurt you at all. I am sad. And pained too.
I DO love you. And on a more serious and equally significant note, I hope you do realize that my continuously believing in you and trusting you and trying to forget about the unruly past means I do care about you and that I am open to the fact that I can trust you fully. I know you can be trusted. We will get there. I know we will.
So now, want to let you know that I put all my trust in you. Regardless. That's more than I can do but I'll do it, anyway!
To infinity and beyond ;) xoxo
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
I am working hard for my Happily Ever After
Somehow, you just learn how to forgive, when to keep giving and why you do it even if let's say it doesn't seem to be making any sense at all. Maybe it's my personality, maybe I am raised that way or maybe I was groomed by all these years of responsibility. I dunno. But what I do know is that in my meager but meaningful experiences, I have acquired such patience and tolerance and well, generosity. I guess it's a virtue. And I begin to think, it must be something good.
More often than not, even if I badly want what I want, I can't stomach to be selfish. I feel terrible knowing that I did have my way at the expense of others. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. And that's a huge price to pay. But that's me. I'm not saying that it's good or bad but that's me. And so when I said that the decision should be mutually agreed upon and to both parties' benefit, I meant it even if it actually means sacrifice. Afterall, it's what it's all about. Remember the adage, "Love and love until it hurts. Love until it hurts no more." That's a perfect way to say it.
I have decided to look at the picture from a slightly different angle, which will hopefully give me a better view. There's always two ways to look at things and I choose the one bestowed upon with optimism. There's no way to go on with a decision you've made if you'll keep on whining. Love needs to be celebrated and lived! So that's what I am going to do: to appreciate each day that passes, to celebrate the love between a man and a woman, and to live life with him.
Now, we have a direction. It doesn't do the whole trick but it will get us somewhere. In the meantime. Now, we have a plan; something concrete that we can both look forward to. Now, the future is no longer hiding behind mists and haze. It's a little bit clearer now. And it does look more hopeful. It makes me more hopeful.
I don't want to coerce or even subtly persuade someone. It should come from within. Big steps like this shouldn't be forced upon. It feels more real if it is out of initiative. It's just more genuine.
8 years cannot be thrown away. So in order for this to work, there has to be some degree of give and take. And often times, it is a matter of deciding what weighs more. And because he means more, God knows how willing I am to give some more.
I will wait for that sweet day.
With eagerness.
Anticipating.
With hopes up.
It is ALWAYS, always a decision to stick it out.
More often than not, even if I badly want what I want, I can't stomach to be selfish. I feel terrible knowing that I did have my way at the expense of others. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. And that's a huge price to pay. But that's me. I'm not saying that it's good or bad but that's me. And so when I said that the decision should be mutually agreed upon and to both parties' benefit, I meant it even if it actually means sacrifice. Afterall, it's what it's all about. Remember the adage, "Love and love until it hurts. Love until it hurts no more." That's a perfect way to say it.
I have decided to look at the picture from a slightly different angle, which will hopefully give me a better view. There's always two ways to look at things and I choose the one bestowed upon with optimism. There's no way to go on with a decision you've made if you'll keep on whining. Love needs to be celebrated and lived! So that's what I am going to do: to appreciate each day that passes, to celebrate the love between a man and a woman, and to live life with him.
Now, we have a direction. It doesn't do the whole trick but it will get us somewhere. In the meantime. Now, we have a plan; something concrete that we can both look forward to. Now, the future is no longer hiding behind mists and haze. It's a little bit clearer now. And it does look more hopeful. It makes me more hopeful.
I don't want to coerce or even subtly persuade someone. It should come from within. Big steps like this shouldn't be forced upon. It feels more real if it is out of initiative. It's just more genuine.
8 years cannot be thrown away. So in order for this to work, there has to be some degree of give and take. And often times, it is a matter of deciding what weighs more. And because he means more, God knows how willing I am to give some more.
I will wait for that sweet day.
With eagerness.
Anticipating.
With hopes up.
It is ALWAYS, always a decision to stick it out.
Friday, October 8, 2010
The One With Monica's Thunder
Rachel: All right Monica, do you want to know why I was with Ross tonight?!
Monica: I know why!
Rachel: No you don’t know why!
Monica: Okay! Why?!
Rachel: Because! Because I was sad.
Monica: What do you mean?
Rachel: Look, I am so…so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that I’m not. I’m not even close. And I don’t know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that that’s dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!
****
I can relate like I'm actually Rachel but not about the getting married part. Well,not now at least. But yeah. Let's just leave it at that.
Monica: I know why!
Rachel: No you don’t know why!
Monica: Okay! Why?!
Rachel: Because! Because I was sad.
Monica: What do you mean?
Rachel: Look, I am so…so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that I’m not. I’m not even close. And I don’t know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that that’s dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!
****
I can relate like I'm actually Rachel but not about the getting married part. Well,not now at least. But yeah. Let's just leave it at that.
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