I am working hard for my Happily Ever After

Somehow, you just learn how to forgive, when to keep giving and why you do it even if let's say it doesn't seem to be making any sense at all. Maybe it's my personality, maybe I am raised that way or maybe I was groomed by all these years of responsibility. I dunno. But what I do know is that in my meager but meaningful experiences, I have acquired such patience and tolerance and well, generosity. I guess it's a virtue. And I begin to think, it must be something good.

More often than not, even if I badly want what I want, I can't stomach to be selfish. I feel terrible knowing that I did have my way at the expense of others. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. And that's a huge price to pay. But that's me. I'm not saying that it's good or bad but that's me. And so when I said that the decision should be mutually agreed upon and to both parties' benefit, I meant it even if it actually means sacrifice. Afterall, it's what it's all about. Remember the adage, "Love and love until it hurts. Love until it hurts no more." That's a perfect way to say it.

I have decided to look at the picture from a slightly different angle, which will hopefully give me a better view. There's always two ways to look at things and I choose the one bestowed upon with optimism. There's no way to go on with a decision you've made if you'll keep on whining. Love needs to be celebrated and lived! So that's what I am going to do: to appreciate each day that passes, to celebrate the love between a man and a woman, and to live life with him.

Now, we have a direction. It doesn't do the whole trick but it will get us somewhere. In the meantime. Now, we have a plan; something concrete that we can both look forward to. Now, the future is no longer hiding behind mists and haze. It's a little bit clearer now. And it does look more hopeful. It makes me more hopeful.

I don't want to coerce or even subtly persuade someone. It should come from within. Big steps like this shouldn't be forced upon. It feels more real if it is out of initiative. It's just more genuine.

8 years cannot be thrown away. So in order for this to work, there has to be some degree of give and take. And often times, it is a matter of deciding what weighs more. And because he means more, God knows how willing I am to give some more.

I will wait for that sweet day.
With eagerness.
Anticipating.
With hopes up.

It is ALWAYS, always a decision to stick it out.