Hopeful, Still.

The weekend was mostly about house chores just like any other week. And just like any other week, I was looking forward to the weekend because I know that I can wake up a little bit later than usual and that I can get out of the apartment and go somewhere even if that somewhere is just the Asian supermarket and the grocery. Still weekends give me a sense of relief that no other day in the week could do. But this weekend, I missed getting my eyebrows done. Instead, I met up with a college classmate who just arrived here a month ago. She needed transpo to shift all her stuff to a new place so I offered to help. And before I knew it, the threading place is already close so I'm off to another week of untidy eyebrows. I am working only 4 days this week because last week, I dragged myself to work for 6 days. And yes, I made it!!!

On Saturday, we went to Frasers in Mt. Eden to keep talking about our lives and dreams. I was so overwhelmed with all the things that are happening around me and all the plans waiting to be fulfilled. It felt so heavy in my chest that I needed to let it out somehow. My family's plans, our plans, his plans which in turn are affecting my plans---i felt like I am drowning. And then I went into some sort of realization-state about myself. So really, I spent the weekend doing lots of thinking.

At Church yesterday, I couldn't help but cry because I felt nobody else listened to me. I felt that people around me were hearing what I am saying but they weren't listening to what I really wanna say. So I just cried because crying means so many things for me. I felt silly crying at a public place but sometimes when you couldn't contain it any longer, you just give in. And that's what happened to me.

Today, I went home to neatly-cut, huge chunks of pumpkin waiting to be cooked. My back is still a little sore from all the lifting and hoisting at work. But I gotta do what I gotta do. So after an early dinner, I cooked tomorrow's dish so that Gelo can just heat it up before he goes to work. I am actually a little bit sleepy now but I'm still waiting for the squash to soften and the sauce to thicken before I steal a few hours of Zzzzz's under the covers.