Still, I am not giving up

I wanted to scream "Sa'yo na!" I wasn't doing anything and yet she somehow feels I am taking him away from her. How is that so? Where else would I put myself? How else would I act? What else should I or shouldn't I say? How strange. In the story where she is the wicked stepmother, she suddenly points the finger at me as the one who is at fault for everything. Maybe Snow White is soft spoken and talks to little animal creatures (who also answer back in singing voices that luckily, I don't do---the talking to animals, I mean.), but you'll never know if the unpublished version says Snow White lashed at the evil stepmother and told her to "Shut the f***k up!!!" Well, let us not wait for the modest little princess to reach that point, shall we?


I wanted to cry when I heard it. Not because I am sad but because I am exhausted. I am tired of her. I am tired of her constant competing with me, of her constant whining about me, of her constant dislike of me. I am almost, ALMOST fed up. I can't do the smiling in front of each other and then hurting as I feel my back has been stabbed. I can't do the pretending thing. I can try to be cordial. I can be civil. But I can't exchange jokes and stories about life pretending I am interested when all I really care about is driving home and doing my own thing. I am not that person. I am transparent that you could see right through me. And I never forget. EVER. And that's me. That's who I am. So I can't forget you telling me never to set foot in your house again. I can't forgive you for telling me in my face I shouldn't bother wearing white on my wedding day. I can't accept the fact that you don't feel at ease that your son is gonna marry me. I can't let it all pass. No. This is me.

And I'm sorry that your son loves me.
But he does.

SO DAMN MUCH!