You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Chopsuey thoughts on my mind

Y'know the subtitle written at the top portion of this blog? I don't think I stand by it anymore. The live-each-day-at-a-time theme? It's not working on me. I need a plan for the future. I don't wanna be left hanging. I don't wanna not know. I want to know what's next.

**But while typing this entry, a thought entered my mind: Isn't it that believing despite not knowing is faith?**

I wanna know my worth. It is hard when suddenly you don't know your value anymore. It is like feeling like the ground is swallowing you whole little by little so you can feel every single bit of the struggle of trying to get out.

It's hard to point a finger and put the blame on someone else. So, I'm not gonna do that.
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