Looking at this blog, which hasn't been updated for the past couple of weeks, I feel as though I have a writer's block. When I am somewhere quiet, along with my thoughts, I have a million things that come up in my mind. But the moment I log in to my account, everything vanishes and I suddenly don't know where to start.

Maybe because there's some negativity in me recently that I'd rather not blog about as it will just drag me down.

Anyway, I'd like to think I'm trying to get back on my feet. I am really looking forward that Spring's almost here! So, goodbye to winter flu and coats and boots.

Spring is my favorite season of the year simply because it seems to be bringing new hope, new beginnings. The days are longer, the wind is still cool but the sun is out more often. Not to mention all the flowers that are in bloom and the greens that are greener than ever. :) I've crossed out 1st weekend of September for spring cleaning. It has been sort of a tradition and sort of a ritual like saying buh-bye to a year of broken friendships, dragging pessimism and drawing some lines. And after clearing out my closet of the things that I do not need anymore, things for giving away and some things for keeping, I feel uplifted at the thought that there's another year ahead of me. Another summer at the beaches, another year of hardwork, another autumn and another cold winter. It's a cycle, anyway. But as people say, the night is darker before the break of dawn. So yes, goodbye for now to the long nights of winter and hello to my beginning. :)

25 years ago

Back up

Yes, I'm back up on my feet! And I am baking again. This time it's chewy chocolate thins and I really hope it comes out chewy not like the slice i made last week which was as hard as a board! It's a pretty simple recipe which calls for a lot of mixing which made my arms really sore. hehehe I made some tweaks from the recipe and added dark chocolate chips. :) So when Gelo comes home later, he can snack on some cookies. Yay!

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I am planning something for my birthday that needed some of my childhood photos. Last night I got my memorabilia box in a serious hope of finding something that can help me with my *birthday special. But to my dismay, I only found a handful of photos which will not suffice. So this afternoon after driving Gelo to work and before doing my chewy cookie attempt, I ransacked my drawers and I found a scrapbook of sort, which apparently was a project when I was in college. Theology, perhaps. And like opening a baul of treasures, there, I found all the photos I was eye-ing to include in my project. Oh what a wonderful feeling! :) It's a similar feeling to waking up early, getting ready to go to school only to find out that classes are suspended. Sheer heaven! :) Oh, I am definitely back on my lakwatsera feet! :)

I should really abandon the pessimism accompanying my fear to turn 25. That's not healthy. I should really welcome my 25th year with a heart full of thanks. :)

Ending the week on this note

I just had a quarter pounder burger, half of a McChicken burger, part of a large fries, 3 pcs chicken nuggets and half of a chocolate sundae. Man, I am THAT tired! I was starving too so I didn't say no to Mcdonald's! hahaha

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For some reason, I am not looking forward to celebrate my birthday. There. I said it. I don't really know why. But there's this feeling of not anticipating and not wanting to do anything. Walang gana. I am a quarter of a century soon. And I know that it is sort of a milestone and a part of me actually wants to go out and celebrate and mark the year I cross over going to my mid-twenties. (yikes!) But maybe, a part of me is scared. there's the fear to cross that line that says I am paving my way to the thirties and I haven't even saved enough or traveled or accomplished something significant. I don't even have my Master's yet (or any post-grad papers)! So there's the "freaking out feeling" inside me. I am also somehow overwhelmed because of the numerous plans I have in mind that's waiting to happen but I don't know which one to prioritize. I don't know what to do. I am so lost and I don't even have my mom beside me to coach me, to tell me off or to direct me so that I know which way to take.
Why is turning 25 suddenly full of fears? It is suddenly scary to reach this age. Why?

I want to regress and go back to the stage of being asked to do chores and receiving allowance and telling secrets to my mom. Can I come home again?

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