You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.

Friday, July 17, 2009

tight and tough competition

biyenan - n. the mother of ones husband (or wife)
- v. breaking marriages; burning bridges; competing with time, resources, clothes, educational background, salary, work, etc.; likes to get in the way of your plans, decisions, etc., proving you are not good enough for her son; ruining your life in general
- adj. jealous, competitive, boastful, superior (or so she feels), attention seeker, always in denial, unabble to accept the present situation (i.e. her son is no longer hers)
- syn. nightmare, the 'other' woman, home wrecker


technically, we aren't related yet. however, due to certain circumstances, I am forced into an unfortunate situation wherein I have to deal with her and suffer like I'm being punished for something I did. It's just not fair. And yes, I'm whining.
It happened to my mom and I witnessed it, almost experienced it as she was going through the agony of her relationship with her mother-in-law. I am really scared that it is happening to me. NOW. Shit!
The truth is, mothers-in-law, they are the 'other' woman, the one who is hungry for attention and who demands more from our husbands and partners than we do. And in the end, when we have reached our "that's it" moment and let our men choose, some of them sadly pick their mothers. As if they are the ones they have sex with everynight, the ones who will bring their children into this world, the ones who tire themselves sorting the house, the bills, the children and the family, the one who will help him raise his children carrying his surname. Sigh.
I hope there is an easier way of dealing with them. Of making them understand that we are not a threat; that the moment we agreed to marry their sons, we start to become part of the family.
I also wish that he will understand and in the end, will choose me. It might sound like a tough call. But really, it shouldn't be hard because the moment he chose to stay with me, he should have understood that he already picked me.

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