a weekend-er

the weekend has been full of emotional ups and downs. it's weird how so many things happen in just 3 days.

yesterday, we found ourselves sorting songs from never ending folders and folders from a hard drive. and oh my! the songs dated from way back (like when I was in high school). and even if i wasn't planning or not even in the mood to remember the awkward highcshool moments, the long overnight phone calls (like we weren't seeing each other the next day), the messages we kept on passing written on pieces of paper which, makes all the "messengers" (i.e. whoever had the unfortunate role of passing the paper to another person until it reaches me or one of my friends), and those lunch breaks we spent while one is whining, one is cramming, one is eyeing her crush, one is smiling while texting and other one making weird food combinations from what seems edible in the caf. those were just the tiniest details i could gather from my mind at this point but believe me when I say that there's SO MUCH MORE. And sometimes, a lot of times actually, highschool is like vegas. Everything that happened there, stays there. :)

and then came the college days. the time when i was so busy holding on to highschool stuff, highschool friends, highschool everything that i began to feel i am not even present while my everday life is unfolding in college. so is tarted to let everything go and move forward. and here, i met several insanely good and loyal friends! that i seriosuly can't get enough of. They condoned my cutting classes at times, making sure i am still updated and ready for the next class. They are the ones who knew when i needed a spare 1/2 lengthwise for a quiz because i don't even have a single piece of it in my bag (or just too late to grab one because the professor's dictation is already in number 3. dman it! missed out on the 1st two.) These college friends of mine proved to me that dreams are made to come true. and together we worked on our licences.

***

2 days ago, I decided upon myself that i wanted to move to Canada. well, not really wanted as if i was given a better choice, i'd rather be back home still. But my point is, I was thinking on moving to another place again. So i told him about it. And he was stoic, emotionless, cold, dismissive. He said it was my decision and that i should think about it but he'd understand if i'd wanted to go.

sigh.

i didn't hear what i wanted to...from him. he didn't say what i needed to hear.

and then i started feeling all warm and i felt my face was turning red. and then the 1st teardrop came. i kissed him soft and long and i looked at him straight in the eye and asked him if he really wanted me to leave. and he faced me, curled like a child on bed and said, "i want to be selfish. ayokong umalis ka. masaya na ako na nandito tayo. nakikita ko na yung mgaiging buhay natin dito, yung magiging pamilya natin dito..." and he shooked his head like a child caught lying and finally admitted to the truth. and i cried some more. it's finish. and then he blurted out, "Wag mo akong iwanan" and we settled in a tight embrace. and that, that sealed the day.

I was almost motionless, my heart is satisfied. I feel renewed in a sense, my mind clearing up, feeling that i'm ready that in the coming days, i can make new plans for myself and for us.