Browsing through the net, I came across one of my favourite topics to read, which is Erikson's Psychosocial Development and then it got me to thinking.
Looking at my intimate relationships right now, would I be on the "intimacy" or "isolation" part of his Psychosocial crisis? I have some wounded, if not broken friendships recently (meaning the last couple of years) and that definitely doesn't fall under healthy intimacy levels. During Fridays when I am all alone for most part of the day, I'd either walk alone strolling by the shops in the city or at home baking some goodies with a DVD popped in the player and I absolutely enjoy it.Or perhaps, I've gotten used to it. I read in a magazine article that it only takes 3 weeks (of consistent doing or not doing) for someone to form a habit. I have been staying home with DVDs as company for the past 3 years hence, the preference to be by myself. I sometimes find it such an effort to sit with someone and try to figure out what I'm gonna say and try to draw the line to where the sharing ends so I'd rather be by myself. Is it that I am pushing people away? Or do I really just love quiet time?
One more thought: now I understand why couples at this stage break up because "we like different things". By saying that I think it means someone is ready to settle down (intimacy) and the other is holding back commitment (isolation). Wow, what a powerful theory this is!
The virtue of the crisis intimacy vs isolation is LOVE and the modality is to be able to find oneself in others. I am not quite sure where I stand but I guess resolving conflicts to form relationships does take both sides for it to work. And though I know how to do it, I dunno where to start because frankly speaking, there is so much solace in being alone and I am really loving it.
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