alpha

It's redeeming.
to be blogging again.
to not care about grammatical errors and misplaced punctuation marks.
to miss out on capital letters and indenting first words.
to just write. and type. any idea that comes to your mind.

***

Yesterday, i felt my usual self. The one who is obsessed about being in control and is freaked out by people crossing her personal space. And suddenly, i just bursted out crying and crying until i felt like it wasn't gonna stop. It was the feeling of helplessness and vulnerability surfacing. I was no longer the control freak that I was. And after he hugged me real tight, i stopped. I composed myself. I felt safe.

What just happened will surely recur in the coming Sundays again. So i thought, he better be ready.

***

This is the start.
Of something I can hopefully keep up with.
Something that will help me ease my headache or some stress induced gastric upset.
Or something to accompany when he gets tired of dealing with my outbursts, going on in a vicious cycle.

I feel really good writing again. :)