I really, really wish I could shout it out loud

Seeing myself sitting alone in my apartment at 10 in the morning in my pyjamas and with hair in disarray, someone might think I don't have a life. But going through this eccentric work hours and trying to get a decent amount of sleep is often a struggle. So the next spare time I have or the moment my head starts feeling all dopey, I quickly climb into bed, lights off, blinds shut, duvet cover over my head and off I drift to the wonderful land of dreams. But that doesn't always happen. That is why even if I am doing night shift tonight and I REALLY need to sleep, I couldn't because my circadian rhythm is all a mess and I hardly know if it's night or day. Plus I just started on this new diet partly because I want to lose weight but more importantly because I have come to the realization that my lifestyle needs an overhaul and that being young is not a passport to NOT get sick (Speaking after receiving my deranged LFTs for no obvious reason, damn it!). Hence, I am into this state wherein my body is forced to adjust to a healthier lifestyle, which translates into my own terms as feeling weaker and deprived. 

This job I am into, what does it really mean? Yes, My job description says:

Meets the needs of patients and their family/whanau using contemporary nursing care, which is safe, appropriate and effective. Such care is based on comprehensive assessment; ensuring continuity, is patient-consumer centered, culturally sensitive and evidence based. Promotes teamwork through working collaboratively with the health care team. Demonstrates quality improvement in work practices. Demonstrates professional accountability and leadership.

But really, WHAT does it mean to "meet the needs", "to demonstrate accountability" and to "ensure patient-centred care"?

2 days in a row I had the most bizarrely interesting encounters with people who, because of (probably) their own indulgence and their (now apparently) wrong choices, have slipped away a teeny-tiny bit from sanity. It may be a fact or an excuse they are trying to put forward to justify their current state of mind.

3rd Morning Shift (defined as yes, the 3rd time I am dragging myself to work after 2 previous days of purely exhausting physical and mental work. Also equates to a shorter patience secondary to fatigue.)

Caring for a 67 year old male, who is living in a resthome has 4 daughters and 3 siblings all in the UK; admitted for Dementia secondary to Alcohol withdrawal. Current smoker; smoked for 50 years; Hasn't smoked in the last 7/7. Past medical history of Depression with self harm.

After breakfast, I approached him asking if he wants to be assisted with hygiene/morning cares. He sarcastically obliged.

Me: Do you want to have a wash or a shower now?
A(for asshole):  squinting at me as if I'm an alien. Well, yeah, ok.
Me: Everything's ready at the basin. Are you alright to do it yourself or do you want me to help you with anything?
A: If you're not busy. sarcasm sensed.
M: Here's your toothbrush, please clean your teeth.
He takes out his dentures (top and bottom) and threw it at the basin.
A: You clean it. Do you know how to use this toothbrush?
No answer from me, just deep breaths.
A: Oh no? Here, you turn it on. You don't have that?

Bloody hell! I wanted to yell at him and slap him really hard. But there is no point having that argument with the patient, my manager says. Bullshit!

Day 4 (Last morning shift. Synonymous to mentally and physically drained but has to go to work just because I'm rostered to do so.)

Caring for a 78 yearold female who came in with a fractured left humerus sustained after a fall. Extensive bruising on left arm, left chest wall and left flank noted. A resthome resident who sneaked out of the resthome to buy herself a bottle of wine because she was unhappy that the resthome staff took away her 2 bottles of vodka. On Alcohol withdrawal scale. Can have Diazepam 5-10 mg and Lorazepam 0.5 mg BD.

Prior to turning her, Oxynorm 5 mg given, Panadol 1 g given. Have explained to her that we (me and HCA) need to turn her and move her up the bed so she can sit upright for breakfast. 1st turn towards me, low and behold! 2 punches came flying to my direction and landed on my chest. I dropped her back on supine and told her off, "You better stop hitting me!"

When do you draw the line? Until when are we paid to understand that they are sick and it's just a part of it? When can you say that this is already a low blow to you, as a person, who despite anything and more than anything for that matter, needs deserves to be treated with respect? Respect being the most basic human virtue.

But somehow, I have put it all together that yes, they might be sick and yes, it is my job to be patient but the truth of the matter is no matter where you go, no matter what people say, there'll always be an implication because of the colour of your skin.

What a load of crap!

***

And this morning, with all the stressful days of work, the gradual onset of lethargy because of my dieting and the hormonal changes that comes with being a woman, I open up my blog and something like this bumps in to me:

You will never fully experience every fiber of a woman’s being until you blanket her with the security of your love. This is not found by sharing your bills or your bed. You will find it when you commit your life to her in marriage.

Does marriage really matter that much though Dad?

Yes! Marriage eases her mind in a way, living with her never will. Without it, she will always hold something back. She will always doubt. She will always wonder (and may not ask you) why she isn’t good enough…and the longer you wait, the more frustrated you both will be.

But shouldn’t I take my time and make sure she is the right one?

Of course, but not to the detriment of your future with her. No woman wants to feel like no one else better has come along, “ so I guess we should get married”.

If you can’t see yourself with her and your future children eating cotton candy at the beach some day…

If you can’t see yourself waiting on her hand and foot after breast cancer surgery…

If you can’t see yourself wanting to tell her everything first…

If you can’t see your wrinkled hands holding hers… 

My thoughts and feelings for the last 3 years suddenly translated into words. Something I wish I could tell him. Or better yet, something I wish he could realize on his own.

What a life.

Currently, My Life's Theme Song

Heavy Sigh

Absence make her heart grow fonder
While I’m conquering the last frontier
Lately I’ve found myself wonderin’ out loud
Wonderin’ what I was doin’ here

One day you’ll understand how much you have me
One day you’ll realise we have it easy
I can’t offer you the future - I don’t know it myself
All I can offer you is me
I’m all I can offer you right now

Patience make her heart grow stronger
Reassure her she’s where I want to be
Never was the grass ever greener
I’m about ready as I’ll ever be

And one day you’ll understand how much you have me
One day you’ll realise we have it easy
If an expression of love is what you need to believe
All I can offer you is me
I’m all I can offer you right now


I’m all I am
All I am, yeah

One day you’ll understand how much you have me
One day you’ll realise we have it easy
I can’t offer you the future - I don’t know it myself
All I can offer you is me

One day you’ll understand how much you have me
One day you’ll realise we have it easy
If an expression of love is what you need to believe
All I can offer you is me
I’m all I can offer you right now


Absence make her heart grow fonder
While I’m conquering the last frontier

The One With Monica's Thunder

Rachel: All right Monica, do you want to know why I was with Ross tonight?!
Monica: I know why!
Rachel: No you don’t know why!
Monica: Okay! Why?!
Rachel: Because! Because I was sad.
Monica: What do you mean?
Rachel: Look, I am so…so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that I’m not. I’m not even close. And I don’t know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that that’s dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!

****

I can relate like I'm actually Rachel but not about the getting married part. Well,not now at least. But yeah. Let's just leave it at that.

growing old too fast, too young

That's how I think it is.

Everyday, the world is unfolding. The sun rises on the east. I go to work, come home and do some house chores and voila! The day has finished. And another day begins.

There's so much wasted time and energy I spend sitting in front of a computer and daydreaming by myself because most of the time, there's no one to talk to. Unlike home, when the days are stretched, there are a multitude of things that I can occupy my mind with and yet, there's still time at the end of each day. Amazing how time seems to differ in various places.

But really, when you are forced to a corner with nowhere to go and no one to turn to, there's nothing else you can do but dissolve yourself in the moment. You have to find a way to thrive. So even if you are pushed to your limit, you have to bounce back. And I still believe that when you're at the bottom, there's no other way but up.

My Favourites (delayed birthday entry)

salt and pepper squid

roast pork with crsipy balat

wicked wings

crispy noodles for long life

tofu spring roll, chicken feet, prawn toast, congee, taro puff, prawn dumpling

watermelon milk tea, honey lemon tea and pulutan sunstitutes

banoffee pie, new york cheesecake, carrot cake, waffle and cups of coffee

pepperoni and sausage pizza

Because my family is physically absent to celebrate my 25th birthday with me, I thought of going low key with the celebration. And because it is a celebration of me (and only me!), I said I'd go with my favourites and wish they're here to dine, feast and celebrate this milestone with me.

Another day

I am pouring out all my energy into cooking and baking. Well that's for 2 reasons: it keeps my mind off my worries (even for just a while) and 2ndly, it gives me a sense of worth and fulfillment after seeing the food I so hard-workingly prepared and the faces (face, for that matter) of those who are having it. Some of them are amazed at how I was able to come up with such good food (modesty aside haha). Some are in awe at the presentation, making the food appear much more enticing to gobble up (thanks to research, cook books and various search engines). Their eyes just light up and smile when they see the home-cooked meals that is so appealing, it's as good as dining out (if not better, cause there's no service charge and you don't have to fight for parking). So yeah, I wanna keep this up.

tortillas, sweet chili chicken pieces, fresh iceberg lettuce, grated cheese, white onion, carrot sticks, garlic mayo, buttered corn kernels and cups of hot home-made mocha (coffee with cocoa, milk and sugar).

***

I've been preparing myself for that one time all out talk with the topics lined up in my memory. And just as I'm waiting for the 'right time' to come, I am hearing words like "i don't know what to do without you" and "I found what course I wanna take" and for some reason, I felt it was real. I felt He was sending me a message and telling me to think some more. After all, it IS 7 years.

Chopsuey photos (following the chopsuey thoughts entry)

That's a filipino breakfast that I truly miss. Sinangag nalang ang kulang, longsilog na. At may sisig pa! Sayang, walang sizzling plate. Nonetheless, it still tastes very very good! And look! There's UFC and Knorr seasoning pa!

fried egg, sisig, longganisa with Filipino condiments to go with it

I rocked breakfast this morning. On the menu are: Garden salad made of baby lettuce leaves, spinach, feta cheese, fish nuggets, cherry tomatoes, white onions and cashew nuts with Italian dressing. There's also pumpkin soup, creamed mushrooms, muffin, champagne ham and fried egg. Oh my, we were stuffed! That's how you start a day. :)

The very enticing breakfast we had this morning plus a cup of hot water waiting for a teaspoon of coffee, sugar and milk.

My typical Friday night early dinner. As I am mostly alone on a Friday, this is what my dining table looks like. Bread, water, a bit of salad and some cold cuts. That's it. No time consuming cooking required. Quick and easy. But sometimes, it's still nice to eat with somebody.

Snack? Dinner? Merienda? Who knows? That's a Friday meal when you're alone.

I want to hibernate again

Some questions can be left forgotten. Some needs to be addressed. And some really need a definite answer. And the questions that are crowding my mind at the moment definitely fall on the latter.

Oh, what to do? What to do? Do I keep wondering? Do I try to elicit an answer? Do I even try at all?

*heavy sigh*

Let the Photos Speak Once More

travelling from one time zone to another, yummy meals when the company is as good as the food, driving everywhere, grocery shopping, hearty breakfast, well-executed and equally fun jump shots, reading greeting cards and being teary-eyed, outdoor fun, paintings, magnificent lake view, conquering our fears and actually enjoying it, facebook-ing til late night, celebrating a milestone together (one of the highlights), early mornings by the harbour, full closet and crowded room which I really like, doing house chores together, packing stuff, sweet kisses...

Let the Photos Speak

lots of sleeping knowing i will be waking up with my family around me, food-tasting, family out-of-towns, family portraits, dinner with high school friends who are now bringing babies to reunions, drinks over videoke with college friends, laughing boisterously like I was in high school and doesn't really have a care in the world, papa driving me off to places, photographs and frames in the living room.

My 12-hour plane ride 9in total), went smoothly (i.e. no delays, no hassle, no nothing!). Coming from a country where it's cold almost 70% of the year, feeling the Manila heat was like going into a huge Sauna room. Only, I'm staying inside this Sauna room for 2 weeks. The place is freakin' hot!

Many things changed from the last year and a half I've been away. Many new buildings, malls, hotels, condominiums, bridges, roads and whatnots. The place is transforming quite rapidly, I'd say. It still is crowded and blowing of horns on the streets is as normal as breathing. I missed those sounds! hahaha

Apart from the heat and the quickly revolving business district, Manila is still my home. Its colors and noise and people still amaze me (sometimes, even amuse me).

I had dinner with my family last night and we were laughing from the time we were all together in the car up until we finished dinner. And arriving home, there were still a few dragging jokes we repeatedly told each other until we were snorting and curling and holding our tummies until the laughters subsided.

This will be my life for the next 14 days. I am really pleased! :)

Soul-Searching

Yes, yes, yes. I am going home on April.

I had doubts initially because I might not have enough money for the trip thinking that we are saving for our wedding. But I thought, I owe myself this. I need this trip and I need to be alone for a while. Away from his family and his mom. And more time with MY family.

I can't wait! :)

"Me" Time

I finished work relatively early today so I went home, got changed and walked down to the city all by myself. It always feels good to have this day all to myself every once in a while. My "alone time" today is actually a secret because today's my shop-for-gelo's-birthday-present-day.

some "me" time at home: takeaway food and dvds

Earlier today, in the middle of discharging 2 patients and admitting another two, my mind was floating in some gift shop thinking of what to get him for his birthday. Suddenly, it was so hard to get him a present. SO during my break, i whipped out my pen and paper and started jotting down all sorts of gif ideas that entered my head.
1. T-shirt - too ordinary (because his sister's giving him a shirt too)
2. Jordan Rubber shoes - too expensive
3. Cologne/EDT - he already got a lot of it
4. Wallet - too mature
And then it hit me: Birkenstock!!! I'm gonna get him those comfortable little things, that he'll definitely looooove ---- 110% sure! (I fell in love with those things). So off I went and bought him his 1st pair.

Next on the list is a birthday card. I went to 2 different bookstores in search of the most romantic and heart-warming Birthday card with the most personal greeting. I read and browsed through 20 still, there's not a right feeling. It's either too cheesy or too mediocre. And then a neon-orange envelope caught my eye.



And I knew this is the card I'd hand to him on his 24th birthday. :) I can't wait!

Everything About Today

There is an exhilarating feeling about walking out of the hospital doors after graveyard shift with the cool breeze greeting you and the sunshine peeking through the clouds. I feel a sense of relief that the day and my week is finally over. There is a feeling of excitement as I look forward to the weekend and suddenly, I don't feel sleepy anymore.

6 hours later, here I am, awake and with a throbbing headache. I have laundry in the washing machine while I am blogging and at another tab watching wedding videos. I am half asleep and half sick after having lunch, which I made and put too much tuna in. Eeewww.

It has been a crazy week with all the hoola-baloos of his mom's birthday and whatnot. I'd rather skip this part and not dwell on the pessimism that is trying to escape from inside of me.

I made the collage of photos for this blog yesterday before coming to work and it exudes a very positive vibe. Those photos are dated from way back 2005-ish. So it really brings back lots of memories. One way to negate all thoughts awful and silly and all things burdensome. I actually found my Literature teacher's blog and I am just so fascinated about how she writes, mixing the simplicity of her everyday life with the creativity of her ideas and how she juggles those words. Ah, simply amazing. And so, I vowed to make this blog rock by writing a often as I can and by coming up with new ideas. That reminds me, I haven't done my resolution list for this year.

The washing machine has beeped, calling me to hang the clothes outside while there's still some sun. Yes, my drier broke down a week ago which, makes doing laundry a lot less easy. So, I have to finish up and attend to the house chores before I ran out of time or fall asleep.

My 2009 in Retrospect

While typing this entry, I am eating leftover Christmas eve food, which needs to be consumed or it will spoil in my fridge. So yeah, it's dinner time here. I am by myself in my apartment, which I kind of appreciate especially when I am blogging.

Every time this time of the year comes, I always feel reflective and I want to look back on how my year was including the challenges and achievements I had and accomplished. And it gives me a sense of closure and a feeling that I can freely move on into the new year.

So here's to the year of learning to let go...letting go of doubts, letting go of worries, letting go of hatred and letting go of emotional baggage that has been pulling me down and delaying my journey.

January 2009
I went home. I felt so incredibly happy and ecstatic that once again, even for just a few weeks, i can be with my friends and family once again. I got to hang out with my mom and exchange stories just like what we used to do. :) I had the chance to go out of town for an entire weekend with my dearest friends without worrying about anything else except for how drunk we wanted to be. I missed the noise, the traffic, the lights and the humidity of the air. I felt comfortable as I walked around our house barefooted, eating pandesal and queso in the morning and hearing jeepneys passing by. I felt so relieved to be home. And i had the feeling of not wanting to leave. But I had to. And for the 2nd time, I didn't look behind me as I walked through the airport glass doors.

February 2009
We bought our 1st car. One of my dear friends at work decided to move to Sydney so she sold her Camry to us. It felt so liberating to have your hands on the wheel of your 1st car that you paid for with your money. Not anything given to you by your parents or some generous godparent. But it is your own. Our own. And it feels damn good!

March 2009
I was team coordinator several times which felt both scary and good.
I also had a pay rise this month. :)

April 2009
I had another pay rise. :)
I was chosen by my Charge Nurse to attend to a seminar wherein I met a lot of other health care professionals from different hospitals around the country. I felt so privileged. :)

May 2009
Angel came home for a 2 week stay. We ate out and had a lot of fun and a lot more talking. :) This is also the month when Rommel came over to Auckland for a visit and we showed him around and for the 1st time, I met Marge who has been in NZ for half a year, i think but I never had the chance to meet her when she came. So it was a 4-6 reunion of some sort.
I also did a teaching session for approximately 20 nurses in our ward wherein I got very good feedback. :)

June 2009
Completion and submission of work portfolio.

July 2009
He bought me an engagement ring, which he hasn't formally given to me as of date.

August 2009
I had a birthday party for the 1st time here. It was fun and different because I haven't had a party since my debut. So it was kinda cool being the star of the night for everyone.
Our car's wiper broke down and we had to be towed from North Shore back to our apartment.
It's our 7th year anniversary too.
Talked with him about my being aloof and my not so warm and equally strange relationship with his mother who isn't my favorite person and who feels exactly the same way about me. It was uplifting to be able to share such intensity of subject with someone and still feel loved at the end. This is when I decided that he is for keeps.

September 2009
My mom went to the USA for the 1st time to visit Ninang Glen and to accompany Lolo until he settles down. She stayed for a month there. During her stay, 2 incredibly devastating typhoons hit Manila where the rest of my family suffered tremendously. I felt so worried, anxious and helpless.

October 2009
Felt betrayed by a friend. And that spelled all the difference in what used to be our friendship.

November 2009
I have repaid in whole the money I loaned. So now, I can fully enjoy and share the fruits of my labour. :)
My parents had a separation fit which tore my heart and taught me how valuable family is.
A close friend revealed something to me that I swore I will bring with me to my grave.

December 2009
We started talking about when our wedding will be. And that is 2 years from now. So we gotta start saving.
I was hit by pangs of loneliness because of separation from my family during the Holiday Season, which is so depressing.
My parents decided to give our family another chance.

***

Being 5 days away from 2010, I am looking into the coming year with hopeful eyes and an unwavering faith that I will be able to endure and enjoy the next 12 months. It is after all, what the new year is all about. I am definite that there will be more lessons and experiences plotted for me this coming year and I will pull through it, without a doubt. :)

Yuletide thoughts

i was up early today and i couldn't go back to sleep. Today's my friday and i'll be off from work for 3 days which is quite a rest for me, only not. This coming Christmas day and the weekend will be a handful for me. There's the midnight mass, the noche buena, the exchanging of presents, the beach tambay and whatnots. So there's really no rest day, so to speak.

***

the past week, i spent too much! maybe i was trying to compensate for the sadness i am feeling this season. WHenever I see anything i want, i just think to myself, my family's not here, no one to celebrate with, no presents to open, i cook my own noche buena so i think i deserve a little something. and because of this pep-talk, i have exceeded my budget, and next payday will be next week pa! i am serious trouble...i might even have to fiddle with my savings, if the need arises. that is not good.

***

i bought a new planner. and i saw one of my unused notebooks so i thought it could pass as a journal. and yes, i have started writing and i promised i'll keep up with it. everything doesn't have to be blogged so i am going back to old-school journal with gel pens. :)

***

i miss Christmas sa pinas! No Christmas carols, no traffic, no shopping rush, no Christmas spirit...and it feels so lonely. sigh. I miss everything about Philippines! lalo na my family.

Signs of Ageing

Tumatanda na yata ako.

Naiingayan na ako sa mga bar/disco. I find those places really annoying, actually. Or maybe, maaga lang talaga akong nagsawa sa mga discos and bars. I'd probably still love to go to concerts and/or music bars. Pero mga clubs, no way!

I prefer having coffee somewhere quiet. I can even have coffee all by myself now. I don't feel conscious anymore. I just enjoy the silence. (and listening to other people's conversations). But of course, kung malapit lang ako sa mga kaibigan ko sa Pinas, I'd really love to have long talks with them over dinner and some drinks.

I've had a new-found love for anything that shines and sparkles. Grabe, i always stop by jewelry stores and actually appreciate their collections. In fact, I even look at online catalogs!

I love a home-cooked meal. I'd really love it if my mom would prepare it but since she's not anywhere near me, I have learned to fend for myself and cook really great recipes! So far, I've done the basics like adobo, sinigang, tinola, nilaga and mechado. Plus all the fried dishes. But lately, I've done pastel de lengua, beef lasagna, sisig, beef spareribs, carbonara, pancit canton, pancit bihon, pancit palabok and the list goes on. :) I think I wanna venture into a party planning business eventually. That'll be really cool :)

My weekend means grocery shopping; marinading, chopping and generally preparing our food for the week; doing laundry and ironing; and not going out on Sundays because I don't want to be too tired the day before my work week begins.

Or maybe, I am just outgrowing my old habits and there are some things that I'm just not so used to anymore. *shrug*

i wish i could say this to you

we are molded by our experiences both pleasant and not. And this defines, creates and/or contributes to one's character.
i have loyalty and trust issues.
why?

because my boyfriend of 7 years have broken up with me once, have cheated on me once and didn't want to commit at one point.
because i was violated and it was traumatic and incredibly humiliating
because some of my then-close friends betrayed my trust by leaving me hanging in the middle of a very serious but unfortunate circumstance.
because when i first came here unsettled, i was rejected and made to feel very unwelcome.
because my parents' marriage is falling apart and nothing makes you feel more broken than seeing a commitment of a lifetime breakdown just like that.
because my boyfriend's mom thinks that i no longer deserve to wear white on my wedding day.
because i trusted some wrong people.
because some people think that it's okay to mess with me.
because i am someone who clings to the past, who is easily scared, very sensitive and never forgets.
because i learn from my past, and never want to fall down with the same reason ever again.
because i have earned my right to be tough and i have realized that there's no one out there to defend and protect myself but me.
because reality bites and you have to bite back.

***
i feel suffocated, enclosed in my own space because my world gets smaller and smaller as people get crossed off my list.
i feel bitter that it nauseates me.
i feel myself getting smaller as i sink in the mud that is just pulling me down.
i feel fragile, lethargic and helpless but still refusing any help.
i feel shallow and empty that it echoes inside me.
i feel lonely. the hurt, the pain and the tears stemming from within.
i feel misunderstood.
i feel ugly inside. terrible.
i feel unforgiving, unjust and vengeful.
i feel stuck with my feet chained to a steel ball, unable to move forward.

***

i need to believe again.
i need something concrete.
i need to experience that i can trust someone again with my whole heart and soul.
i want someone or something to prove that some people are worth my trust and that not everyone will betray me.
i want to be assured and reassured over and over again.
i want to suppress everything and forget about betrayal and rejection.
i want someone's contagious optimism.
i want to be brave again, not afraid to give my trust and friendship.
i want to move forward and to look back only if it is necessary.
i want to stop nursing the pain and the hurt.
i want to smile again.
i want a promise to be made and never to be broken again.
i want to be free from that steel ball, to feel secured in someone's arms and to let out a good laugh.
i want to move forward.
with you.
show me that it's okay to trust you again. let me feel safe in your embrace. keep my secrets. be on my side even in the toughest of battles. stay with me when everything else is uncertain. let me know that all the others will walk away but that i have a handful of genuine friends who will always stay behind. hold on to me. make me feel whole again. try to fill that gap. teach me that in order to be truly free, the past should be forgotten and left to let go. stay with me even during my ugliest. laugh with me. don't betray me. just try and on't give up on me. remind me to be brave. don't break your promise. show me the love that will endure all weathers. give me your word. love me and just continue to love me. always.

i'll be waiting for that sweet day. and then maybe, i can say i love you too with all honesty and in a way i have never said before.

until then.

my 23 years old firsts

Being 23 was a whole new world for me. I was suddenly independent and self-reliant. Weekends have become days for doing the laundry and going to market. Without any warning, I was living each day on my own. It was hard at first but eventually, things got relatively easier. I'm turning 24 in a week and looking back, i had a few firsts during my 23rd year. I'd like to share.


1. My first out of Auckland trip. My boyfriend, friends and I went to Whangarei, a city 2.5 hours north of Auckland Central. At last, nakapasyal din ako! :)

2. My first snow experience. it's winter in new zealand at the moment but it's not really snowing in the city, where i stay. so my friends and i went to mt. ruapehu where it there was snow. it wasn't that chilly as what i expected. it was a normal fine day and it actually became hot at some point so had to remove my jacket.

3. My first car. My boyfriend and i bought it so he is a co-owner but we both decided to put it under my name. It;s not a flash one. It's a 2nd hand 99 toyota camry. And as far as i could remember i've been wanting to have a camry and a crv. so next time nalang yung crv, camry muna. :)

4. My first ward presentation. I was sent to a seminar about pressure area cares wherein I met different nurses from different hospitals around new zealand. I was asked to do a ward presentation/teaching session about what I attended so that my co-workers could aslo learn from it. It was half an hour long, no body got bored and i received very good feedback! yay! :)

5. My first ring from my boyfriend of 7 years. He bought it for me last December. It isn't an engagement ring or anything but I suppose as any ring would signify, it is a sign of commitment. And that I am already taken! :)

6. My first fine dining dinner date with my boyfriend at Orbit restaurant which is above the world famous skytower. It was for our 6th year anniversary last August 2008.

So there, not much, but those are my firsts the whole year I was 23. Looking forward to more this coming year. :)